Your Step By Step Guide To Combining Two Households
How do you combine the trappings of two houses into one happy home?
Whether we’re talking about second marriages or two professionals moving in together after years in their own spaces, the notion of combining two homes is romantic in thought, but difficult in practice.
The stark reality is a lot of furniture and, unless you have identical taste in décor, there’s a good chance that pieces won’t match. Mismatched décor can give the impression of being visually disorganized and leave you struggling to create style out of a patchwork of furniture.
On a relationship level, this is bound to be a big test for a soon-to-be-combined household, but with a bit of sensitivity and décor savvy, you can pass it with flying colors, and luckily, we’re here to help!
We’ve compiled this step by step guide for combining two households into one harmonious space.
Step #1 On Merging Two Houses: Plan And Communicate
Whether you are moving into a new space together or one of you is leaving your home to join the other in an existing space, you have to plan how it’s going to occur.
Carving out spaces for you both as a couple and as individuals is important and needs some thought: Do you need a quiet home office or an oversized closet that is all yours? Does he need a man cave or space for his 52” screen?
Go through each room and draw the spaces including measurements and current color schemes. If drawing isn’t your forte, there’s an app for that (try MagicPlan or Home Design 3D)
Now that you’ve got your plan in hand, you can go on to Step #2.
Step #2 On Merging Two Houses: Pick Your Favorite Pieces From Both Homes
The first thing to remember is that it’s easy to fight over things. Our advice is to keep your perspective and your wits around you. Things are not people, they are not lives; in most cases, they aren’t even memories. Be prepared to purge.
That said, they are items that you have both spent time and money acquiring and there is inherent value in that.
Look over the furniture, artwork and key pieces in each home and, with your plan and a tape measure in hand, discuss the bigger pieces and see what works and what doesn’t. By jointly picking out your favorite pieces, you should see a pattern emerging and you can begin to brainstorm how you might fit those pieces into your new plan.
Where you can’t agree on something, particularly a larger piece like a bed or an armoire, consider getting rid of them altogether and buying a new one. Something that you have chosen together and becomes the focal point of a room, both literally and figuratively.
Step #3 On Merging Two Houses: Be Clear On Things That Can’t Go
There are things that we can all agree have tremendous personal value; items that cannot simply be discarded. Family heirlooms are a great example. So are handbags. And shoes. While technically not furniture, we can all agree that they are necessities of life!
It’s best to agree to have a certain number of items—three or four—that each of you can claim as ‘untouchable’.
Knowing that important items are off limits will help ease the rest of your compromises – because there will be compromises.
Each of you wins a little, and the items that really do matter or have value can remain safe and close by.
Step #4 On Merging Two Houses: Get Rid Of Duplicates & Keep What Is Better Or Newer
Your full size mixer versus his handheld chopper…
His fabulous coffee maker that makes everything except martinis versus your standard hotel style coffee machine…
Agree that you don’t need two of everything and keep the one that works for you as a couple.
This is where the real challenge occurs and sensitivity is important.
One thing to ease the decision making is to choose a good friend or loved one whom would appreciate your donation of lovely furniture. It may make it easier to give up your well-loved ottoman if you know it will be just as well-loved in your sister’s new apartment!
The same goes for larger items like couches, coffee tables, accent chairs and dining sets.
Step #5 On Merging Two Houses: Pulling Your Décor Together
Based on the remaining items, choose a décor style that can pull your pieces together with coherence.
Our advice is first to choose a mood. How do you want your home to make you each feel when you return to it at the end of a hectic day? Relaxed? Adventurous? Romantic?
Once you have a mood, choose your colors. We wrote a blog on the psychology behind colors that’s useful for this task.
Beware: This is where things may change.
For example, you may realize that his solid blue couch will be a better fit for the minimalist look you’ve chosen than the floral couch you have previously agreed to keep.
Combined with your plan from Step #1, you now have a good blueprint to guide some joint decision making on combining your two households into a single beautiful space that reflects who you are as a couple and a family.
Have you moved two houses into one home? Was there a trick to the whole process that made it easier for you? Share it with us!
